Hey there, readers! Long time, no see ;)
This last year has been an extremely crazy time of growth and change, and as 2019 has finally come to a close, I just wanted to give a quick recap on the year and some of the stuff I have learned in the hopes to provide some encouragement to y'all who may be going through something in your life right at this moment.
Life is what you make of it, and what you make of it alone. Nobody, and I mean NOBDOY, gets to define how life goes for you, and nobody has the right to make judgements about you. You get to make your own decisions and choices, and you should choose what is going to make you happy!! Make the right decisions, but at the same time, be good to yourself- you deserve to be happy. ♥
People are overwhelming. Life is overwhelming. It is okay to take a break and be alone for a little bit. You deserve time alone to relax and recharge. You aren't required to always be out and about with other people. This is something I had been struggling with for a long time, but I have realized that it is okay to want to be alone at times, and that's okay.
People can suck sometimes. They are going to disappoint you, that's just a fact. For some reason, I have a habit of opening up too fast, many times just to get left behind, ghosted, and with the loss of a friend. However, life goes on. YOU are strong enough to keep pushing forward, even though it will get hard at times. God is working in you and through you at this exact moment, and I believe in you too. I truly do. Seize the day, my friends, make this one great. And guess what? You WILL find people who WILL stick around through the good times and the bad ones, and those people will be your forever friends. College has taught me a lot about that. I walked into college expecting to be friends with so many people. I haven't ended up making as many close friends as I originally thought I would, but the great friends I have made are keepers, and I wouldn't trade them for the entire world.
I made a vow to myself in the summer that I would not date during my first semester of college. I wanted to take the first sixteen weeks of my college career to learn more about myself. I do not regret that decision at all. Though it was certainly hard at times to watch so many of my friends meet people and start relationships, and there were times when I found myself feeling so depressed and unwanted because of it, I am so glad that I followed through with the promise I made to myself. I grew in my relationship with Christ, and I found myself so happy for my friends who had significant others. God will bring someone into your life at just the right time when He wills it, and I have learned to trust that.
Also, these past few weeks, I have realized that if God opens a door and provides you with a window of opportunity, you should embrace that & go for it! Whether it's an opportunity with a person or a situation, if a door is being opened, dude, jump on it.
There are days when it is hard to be happy. Life just sucks sometimes and it's extremely disheartening. But, one thing I have learned is that God's love and mercies are abundant and enough and abundantly enough. Though we may not understand why life is going the way that it is right now, someday we will- when God chooses to reveal it to us. Isn't that just so absolutely powerful? I certainly think so :)
2019 was a year of so much hurt, but it was also a year of so much growth. From losing relationships, to being lost in my walk with God, to having no idea what the future was going to hold for me when it came to college, the beginning of the year was a dark time for me. Senior year was the kind of the worst. My anxiety and insecurities have been at an all time high basically this entire year, and I honestly don't think it's going to get better anytime soon. However, I was also able to travel to Italy and Germany with a GREAT group of people, spend two weeks in Hawaii with my family, AND I picked the best university to go to. I live with a beautiful roommate whom I love to death, and I've met so many awesome people. I decided to add a second major and a minor to my college education. I go to Chick-fil-A at least four times a week and have no shame about it. I got my nose and cartilages pierced, and I plan to get more, but shhhh, don't let my parents find out ;) I finished my first semester of college with all A's, which I consider a huge accomplishment because so many tears were shed over the classes I was taking. I have learned so much about myself, and overall, I would say 2019 was a success, though I certainly did not think it was going to be that way.
Romans 5:3-5, says "we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts." Everything that has happened this year has shaped me into the person I am, sitting here in front of my laptop writing to you. I am still as awkward as ever, and there are some days where I just can't bring myself to smile, but hey, finding growth and happiness is a process. And I have a feeling that 2020 is going to bring a lot of joy.
I am praying for y'all and am hoping that you find 2020 a year of peace and happiness. Make today great, you've got this.
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