Hi, my beautiful people. Today I am going to be sharing some really tough and personal stuff. I am not writing to receive sympathy or anything like that, but I am writing because hopefully by the end of this post, I will have encouraged some of you in way you may or may not have realized you needed. :)
For those of you who don't know me very well, I graduated from high school a little more than a month ago and will be heading to Liberty University in Virginia in just under two months (GO FLAMES!). Anyways, haha, I am super excited about the future, and while it may seem as though my senior year had been all fun and games just from looking at my Instagram and other social media posts, it has been, in fact, the hardest year of my life. However, I am super happy now and hope to spread some joy to you too! Yes, you. The person who is reading this right now. ;)
Now, I'm not going to get into all of the details of this long year just because there really is no need to, but one subject I am going to hit hard is how I learned to deal with being unsure of what's coming in the future. So many of us know what it means to trust in God and His plans for our lives, but it is SUPER hard to live that knowledge out in reality, isn't it?
Since freshman or sophomore year, I had planned on attending a university close to my hometown. One night in January of this year, as I was dealing with several other hard situations, I was thinking hard, praying constantly, and crying A LOT, when I realized that I didn't actually want to go this university. It suddenly felt as though I had applied and committed to that college for all of the wrong reasons. Now, the university I am talking about is absolutely amazing, but it wasn't the place I felt I would truly be happy at. So, that same night, amidst the tears I immediately started looking at other colleges out of state. Now, why out of state colleges? Well, ever since I was little, I always told my parents I wanted to move away for college, go out of state, and be on my own. But for some reason, I had never really pursued that dream of moving away for college once I hit high school and seriously started searching for places to go to college. Now seemed like the perfect time to do it! I applied to Taylor University and Lipscomb University, two private colleges which I knew were really good both academically and spiritually. Plus they had my major: Professional Writing, which was super important to me because I had had my heart set on becoming a writer. I went on campus visits and really loved both of these places, but my parents encouraged me to look in another direction. For weeks and weeks, I researched different colleges and applied to different places, but the whole time, I was living in fear and uncertainty. For basically my entire high school career, I had planned on attending the same college with all of my friends who are also attending there, but in one night, my world came crashing down as I realized that the future that was currently planned out for me was not the one I really felt God calling me to pursue or wanted to pursue myself. And yes, I quickly started looking at other colleges, but that busyness did not just remove the fear from my heart and mind.
A few weeks after touring TU, I was at lunch with my family when for some reason we started talking about Liberty University and how awesome and h*cka ginormous that college is. I was scrolling through their options for majors, and though they didn't have the major I had originally wanted, something else caught my eye: Strategic Communications and Social Media Management. Though, I THOUGHT my heart was set on Professional Writing, I knew almost instantly that this (Strat Comm) is what I could major in. I am a HUGE lover of social media, so this major seemed like the perfect place for me, even though it is not as writing-focused as I wanted. Before I even applied to LU, I knew that this university could be the place for me. So, I applied, got accepted, and prepared to go south to visit all within a week and a half of that one conversation at lunch. The minute I stepped on campus, I just KNEW that LU was the place where I would spend my next four years. I immediately felt a peace over me and knew that everything was going to work out. And it did!
I'm not going to lie to you, those six weeks between the middle of January and the end of February were some of the most terrifying times of my life, both because I was lost in my future and because of some other things I was dealing with and going through at the same time. I thought my life was completely planned out, but those plans had lined up with MY wants and wishes, not God's. I realized that I had to let go of what I wanted and put my future in the hands of God. The first two months of this year absolutely SUCKED, just to be honest haha. Like really really sucked. But God used the pain and struggles I went through to teach me what it means to "let go in order to let God" (haha, get it? it's the title of this post!! gotta look for those connections ;)). But anyways, though I was dealing with a lot of anxiety, fear, depression at the time, God took those things and turned them into something beautiful. I have literally never been more excited about anything ever. Yes, I am STOKED to go to college. Four more years of school? Well, it's going to be AMAZING I think. I know my future could change if God wants it to, but I really do feel like the place I am heading to now is the place where He will be able to use me best. From now on, I'm going to let God take the lead on my life. Trust me, I will never always be perfect at it, but God doesn't ask for perfection from us. He just wants us to try our best and have the right heart attitude about it.
Not very many people are aware of how many tears I have shed just this year alone, and that's okay, because they don't really need to. The whole time though, God was there with me. Psalm 56:3 says, "When I am afraid, I put my trust in you." Trusting in God wholeheartedly is something that has always been extremely hard for me, as I'm also sure it has been for so many people. I was so afraid about my future during this year, but I realized that I needed to take a deep breath and step back, and put my future into God's hands. And in the end, it absolutely worked out for the best. :)
So, my friends, today I am encouraging you to take a step back, close your eyes and take deep breaths. Slow down and realize that God's got you. He really does. Through all of the ups and downs that make up each and every one of our lives, God is constant. Another verse that I have really been leaning onto is Hebrews 6:19, "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." God is an anchor, He is steady and never changing. I truly realized that this year. I know it's hard, my friend, I know. But you are tough, I know it. Just lean on Him and you will make it through the hardest situations and come out stronger than before.
I believe in you and God does too.
Please feel free to comment, subscribe to this blog, and share this post! I really appreciate the support from you guys!! :)
For those of you who don't know me very well, I graduated from high school a little more than a month ago and will be heading to Liberty University in Virginia in just under two months (GO FLAMES!). Anyways, haha, I am super excited about the future, and while it may seem as though my senior year had been all fun and games just from looking at my Instagram and other social media posts, it has been, in fact, the hardest year of my life. However, I am super happy now and hope to spread some joy to you too! Yes, you. The person who is reading this right now. ;)Now, I'm not going to get into all of the details of this long year just because there really is no need to, but one subject I am going to hit hard is how I learned to deal with being unsure of what's coming in the future. So many of us know what it means to trust in God and His plans for our lives, but it is SUPER hard to live that knowledge out in reality, isn't it?
Since freshman or sophomore year, I had planned on attending a university close to my hometown. One night in January of this year, as I was dealing with several other hard situations, I was thinking hard, praying constantly, and crying A LOT, when I realized that I didn't actually want to go this university. It suddenly felt as though I had applied and committed to that college for all of the wrong reasons. Now, the university I am talking about is absolutely amazing, but it wasn't the place I felt I would truly be happy at. So, that same night, amidst the tears I immediately started looking at other colleges out of state. Now, why out of state colleges? Well, ever since I was little, I always told my parents I wanted to move away for college, go out of state, and be on my own. But for some reason, I had never really pursued that dream of moving away for college once I hit high school and seriously started searching for places to go to college. Now seemed like the perfect time to do it! I applied to Taylor University and Lipscomb University, two private colleges which I knew were really good both academically and spiritually. Plus they had my major: Professional Writing, which was super important to me because I had had my heart set on becoming a writer. I went on campus visits and really loved both of these places, but my parents encouraged me to look in another direction. For weeks and weeks, I researched different colleges and applied to different places, but the whole time, I was living in fear and uncertainty. For basically my entire high school career, I had planned on attending the same college with all of my friends who are also attending there, but in one night, my world came crashing down as I realized that the future that was currently planned out for me was not the one I really felt God calling me to pursue or wanted to pursue myself. And yes, I quickly started looking at other colleges, but that busyness did not just remove the fear from my heart and mind.
A few weeks after touring TU, I was at lunch with my family when for some reason we started talking about Liberty University and how awesome and h*cka ginormous that college is. I was scrolling through their options for majors, and though they didn't have the major I had originally wanted, something else caught my eye: Strategic Communications and Social Media Management. Though, I THOUGHT my heart was set on Professional Writing, I knew almost instantly that this (Strat Comm) is what I could major in. I am a HUGE lover of social media, so this major seemed like the perfect place for me, even though it is not as writing-focused as I wanted. Before I even applied to LU, I knew that this university could be the place for me. So, I applied, got accepted, and prepared to go south to visit all within a week and a half of that one conversation at lunch. The minute I stepped on campus, I just KNEW that LU was the place where I would spend my next four years. I immediately felt a peace over me and knew that everything was going to work out. And it did!
I'm not going to lie to you, those six weeks between the middle of January and the end of February were some of the most terrifying times of my life, both because I was lost in my future and because of some other things I was dealing with and going through at the same time. I thought my life was completely planned out, but those plans had lined up with MY wants and wishes, not God's. I realized that I had to let go of what I wanted and put my future in the hands of God. The first two months of this year absolutely SUCKED, just to be honest haha. Like really really sucked. But God used the pain and struggles I went through to teach me what it means to "let go in order to let God" (haha, get it? it's the title of this post!! gotta look for those connections ;)). But anyways, though I was dealing with a lot of anxiety, fear, depression at the time, God took those things and turned them into something beautiful. I have literally never been more excited about anything ever. Yes, I am STOKED to go to college. Four more years of school? Well, it's going to be AMAZING I think. I know my future could change if God wants it to, but I really do feel like the place I am heading to now is the place where He will be able to use me best. From now on, I'm going to let God take the lead on my life. Trust me, I will never always be perfect at it, but God doesn't ask for perfection from us. He just wants us to try our best and have the right heart attitude about it.
Not very many people are aware of how many tears I have shed just this year alone, and that's okay, because they don't really need to. The whole time though, God was there with me. Psalm 56:3 says, "When I am afraid, I put my trust in you." Trusting in God wholeheartedly is something that has always been extremely hard for me, as I'm also sure it has been for so many people. I was so afraid about my future during this year, but I realized that I needed to take a deep breath and step back, and put my future into God's hands. And in the end, it absolutely worked out for the best. :)
So, my friends, today I am encouraging you to take a step back, close your eyes and take deep breaths. Slow down and realize that God's got you. He really does. Through all of the ups and downs that make up each and every one of our lives, God is constant. Another verse that I have really been leaning onto is Hebrews 6:19, "We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure." God is an anchor, He is steady and never changing. I truly realized that this year. I know it's hard, my friend, I know. But you are tough, I know it. Just lean on Him and you will make it through the hardest situations and come out stronger than before.
I believe in you and God does too.
Please feel free to comment, subscribe to this blog, and share this post! I really appreciate the support from you guys!! :)
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